Daddy Knows Best
by Green P
Summary: Edward, Emmett and Jasper need a little help, so turn to Carlisle. After all Daddy Knows Best. Smut for the sake of Smut. E/B, Em/R, J/A, C/B, C/R, C/A, C/Es
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: ****Neither of us Own Twilight or the characters, if we did we would be very rich. If you think we do own them, then there is a special place for you with padded cells.**

A special thank you to Shantel who was more than happy to help inspire the gremlin in this mix to write, although it wasn't always on topic. Big hugs darling!

We promise smut in the next chapter, so please keep tuned. Oh and remember, reviews are love, and we all need love....Especially us if you want some smut.

It had been a stressful week at work, but finally Carlisle was home and had three days of peace before he was back on duty at the hospital. Although he adored his job, he still treasured these little breaks where he didn't have to worry about anything but his family. Today had been particularly difficult. It had started with him telling a seven year old girl that she had inoperable cancer and would die within the year, and it went downhill from there. He was very thankful that he was free for three days and could relax.

Entering the living room, he immediately noticed Edward pacing worriedly by the open fireplace, Esme had insisted on putting in on their last refurbishment. It was obvious something was bothering him and Carlisle wasn't sure whether he should enquire or leave his son to think over his problems and come to him if he required help. Opting to leave him to his thoughts, Carlisle made his way into his office and closed the door to the world. Pulling a copy of Hard Times out of his bookcase, he sat behind his desk and began reading, allowing Charles Dickens's prose to relax him and drive the demons of the day out of his head.

As he reached chapter four, there was a rap at his office door. Putting the book down, not bothering with a bookmark, he looked up and smiled.

"Come in Edward." He called, knowing his son had finally decided to come to him for help on whatever problem he was thinking so hard about. The door opened slowly, and as expected Edward was on the other side. Stepping in, he sat in one of the seats dotted around the room, and rubbed his temples in a nervous fashion. Carlisle's curiosity was spiked by this, but he didn't let it get the better of him. Instead he leant back in his seat, regarding his son and waiting for him to divulge what had been bothering him.

"I don't even know how to say this," he slowly admitted, raising his eyes to meet Carlisle's, "I'm probably being paranoid anyway."

"You know you can tell me anything." Carlisle soothed, keeping his eyes locked on Edward's face, "Even if it is paranoid, nothing you say will leave this room, and I can at least try to help."

Edward stared at him, probably reading his thoughts to ensure he meant what he had said, or perhaps he was just thinking about how to word his next statement.

"I don't think Bella is satisfied with Me." He finally announced, looking down at his hands again, seeming very embarrassed by what he had confessed. Carlisle couldn't help the smile which crossed his face at this confession. Ever since their marriage Edward had been paranoid about every little thing. Carlisle put his paranoia down to the fact that he couldn't read Bella's thoughts, but the silly boy was learning, so these little talks were getting rarer as Edward began discussing his fears with Bella.

"Edward, Bella loves you," Carlisle soothed, leaning over his desk and fixing Edward with a very fatherly expression, "She's so happy with you, you're not going to lose her, so don't worry"

"No!" he murmured, fixing Carlisle with a firm look, "I mean, not Satisfying her." Gesturing with his hands as he spoke, Carlisle suddenly got a very good idea of what his son was talking about.

"Oh," he breathed, thinking over the correct response to hearing that his son wasn't able to keep his wife happy in the bedroom department, although it didn't necessarily need to be in a bedroom. "So why do you think that?" He finally asked, praying that it was just Edward's paranoia which was causing him to feel this way.

"Because she told me so." He stated flatly. Ok, so it wasn't just paranoia this time.

"HA EDWARD CAN'T GET IT UP!" Jumping, the pair both turned to the open office door, to see Emmett with a shit eating grin on his face, and Jasper a couple of paces behind, fighting a smile. "If you needed help bro, you just had to ask." He continued with a grin, "I'll show her what a real man is like!"

"I don't think he said that." Jasper said quietly, the edge of his lip twitching with amusement, "He just said that he's not enough for Bella!" Fighting a smile himself, Carlisle, sent a disapproving look at the pair.

"Shut up!" Edward growled, before letting an evil grin grace his face, "It's not like either of you have any idea how to keep your wives happy. At least I'm trying to get advice to help me."

"Rose is really happy." Emmett spat out, his jovial face instantly twisting into an enraged glare at Edward's comment, "I'm a fucking animal in the sack, and I'm enough man to keep her begging for more!"

"That's not what her thoughts say!" Edward shot back.

"Boys!" Carlisle snapped, trying to stop a fight from starting. There was no way his office would survive if Emmett and Edward decided to duke it out. He wouldn't be lucky enough to escape with everything intact, not like the last 9 times.

"Rose loves our sex life," Emmett growled, "We're fucking great together, and no one can beat us at how great we are at fucking"

"Of course you are Em." Jasper soothed, joining Carlisle between the pair, "But surely listening to some tips wouldn't hurt? You might get some ideas." Edward snorted with laughter, looking over at Jasper as he read the Texan vampires thoughts.

"Don't pretend to be so high and mighty." Edward chuckled, "Alice is the least satisfied out of all the girls. She's bored with your activities. So don't think it's only Emmett who should listen to some advice."

"Edward, that is enough!" Carlisle snapped, placing a hand on Edward's chest and pushing him back into his seat, "There was no need for that, Jasper was just trying to help me keep my office in one piece." Sighing, he turned to look at his other two sons. Emmett looked extremely pacified by Jasper's words, but Jasper wasn't so calm. On the contrary, he looked like a kicked puppy. "Edward, apologize to your brother." He muttered, moving to sit behind his desk as he spoke. This little discussion was definitely going to take some time, and probably wouldn't be that little any more. Not with all of his sons in different stages of paranoia or in Emmett's case, denial.

"I'm sorry Jazz." Edward sighed, keeping his gaze locked with Jasper's as he spoke, "I didn't mean it, well not all of it. She is a bit bored, but she isn't that upset." Looking back at Carlisle, he smiled apologetically.

"Thank you." Carlisle replied, before looking at his other two sons, "You are welcome to pull up a chair, if you want to talk about it or just listen to any advice I might be able to give your other brothers." Jasper was quick to take his offer, sitting beside Edward and still looking broken hearted from Edward's words. Emmett was a little slower. "It's not going to harm you," Carlisle soothed, "Just think of it as a way to spice up your love life."

"I'll stay," Emmett conceded, sitting beside Jasper slowly, "Just as long as everyone knows that mine and Rose's sex lives are fucking brilliant." There was a murmur of agreement from the three men, pacifying Emmett. "Ok, so what do we need to know?" That was the question.

"Well why don't you all tell me first just where you think your problems lay" Carlisle said, before sending a look at Emmett as he opened his mouth, "I know you have no problem Emmett, so just be quiet" Turning towards his other two sons, Carlisle waited for their answers.

"Bella said that I'm not original." Edward stated quietly.

"Well if Alice is bored, then I guess that might be my problem too." Jasper agreed, "Although, it's not like we only do it in one place or anything!"

"You actually do it somewhere other than the bedroom?" Edward gasped softly, his face looking shocked, "Isn't that a bit…unhygienic?" Carlisle shook his head at this. He wasn't surprised to hear this though; it was just like Edward to be concerned by something as stupid as Hygiene.

"That's stupid!" Emmett roared with laughter, "No wonder she's not happy with you, at least Jasper tries other places. You just need to bend her over and take her, whenever you want her!"

"Enough." Carlisle interrupted before another argument ensued, "I think I have a good idea where all of your problems lie," Fixing Emmett with another look, he managed to silence him again. "I know Emmett," He said, rolling his eyes, "Your sex life is brilliant, I still think I can suggest something to spice it up if you will just stay quiet and listen." Emmett seemed to consider Carlisle's words, before nodding and grinning wickedly.

"My lips are sealed," he chuckled, pretending to zip his lips, "Now what do you suggest Father dearest?" Smirking at Emmett's stupidity, Carlisle, leant back in his seat, thinking over how to word his suggestions.

"Firstly, Edward, I think you need to at least try and do it somewhere other than the bedroom." He said slowly, giving Edward a look which said that this was the obvious answer, "It isn't unhygienic, and even if it was, we're vampires, it's not going to kill us. If you're worried about it, then do it somewhere which is easy to clean or doesn't matter if it gets a bit messy!"

Rubbing his temples, he thought of the first place he had made love to Esme outside of the bedroom, and couldn't help his body's natural reaction. The moment he managed to get his sons to leave, he would be pulling Esme inside, and bending her over his desk.

A gasp from Edward pulled him back to reality, reminding him of his son's mind reading abilities. Perhaps he had been a little too detailed, but it would help give him some ideas, if not inspire him a little. Instead of feeling embarrassed, he turned his attention to his other two sons.

"Sex doesn't just have to be the same simple act." He told them, knowing Edward was probably not up to this little lesson yet, "You can easily make it into a game, bringing in toys, actions, or just simple commands to help spice things up a bit."

"I don't understand." Jasper admitted quietly, letting a wave of confusion hit Carlisle, before he regained control over his powers again, "Surely sex is only the one simple act? There can't be that many ways to change it." Chuckling, Carlisle smiled reassuringly at Jasper.

"In the most basic sense, there are only a limited number of ways to have sex." He agreed, "But each way has hundreds of different variations if you are willing to experiment."

"Yeah!" Emmett agreed, "You should have seen me and Rose this one time. She had this dildo and was…."

"EMMETT" Edward and Jasper both bellowed, looking horrified at what Emmett was just about to share.

"Too much info?" He asked, raising his eyebrow, "I told you that our sex life was…."

"Fucking brilliant?" Edward completed, "Yeah we know!"

"As long as you know." Emmett stated, looking proud of him self. It was obvious that he was sure that everyone believed his words, and not Edward's previous comments about Rose not being happy.

"Ok." Carlisle said, hoping that the little side conversation was over. With every word that he was saying and hearing, he was growing more and more desperate for Esme, and it was getting more difficult to stop his imagination running away with him. "Like Emmett was saying, there are toys which can be used such as Dildos." He said quietly, hoping he wouldn't be asked to go into detail about them, "I suggest you do some research on the different toys on the market before attempting to use any. There are also clothes which can be worn."

Jasper was nodding slowly, seeming to be memorizing Carlisle's every word, whilst Edward looked horrified and Emmett seemed bored. It was amazing how different in experience his three sons were. Obviously a sign of the society they had been born into.

"Corsets, Boots, crotchless knickers." He listed, "The list goes on, and it all depends on the couple, what you go for. I've even seen a pair of thigh length boots, with a bit at the side to hold a matching whip." He decided not to inform them that he had seen this exact pair of boots on Esme the previous evening. "That's another thing you could try." He continued, his attention slowly turning onto Emmett, "Whipping, spanking, or punishing your partner can be a very erotic experience, but I recommend you get your other half's agreement before doing it because some people find it a little demeaning."

"You mean like I'd hold Rose down and spank her?" Emmett asked, his jaw dropping and an excited glint appearing in his eyes, "And she would stay put whilst I did it?"

"Not exactly" Carlisle sighed, knowing he might have to be a bit more detailed with explaining this, "I mean you could just hold her down if you wanted to, or you could try bondage." He could hear Edward muttering in disgust at this. Honestly, that boy could be such a prude sometimes. "You could handcuff her to something, or use ropes to hold her still." He informed Emmett in a level voice, before turning to look at Jasper, "When she is restrained you could use toys to tease her if you wanted, or she could do it to you. The options are endless when you think about it."

"I can't listen to this!" Edward finally announced, standing up, and leaving the room quickly. If it hadn't been for his obvious arousal, Carlisle would have thought his youngest son was completely disgusted by what they had discussed.

"So I can just tie her up and do whatever I want to her?" Emmett asked, pulling Carlisle's attention away from the office door, "And she'll enjoy it? That's cool!" Jasper and Carlisle just chuckled at this.

"Why don't you go and try it out Emmett?" Jasper suggested, "I'm sure you'll be letting us all know how it goes. Seeing as our discomfort has never stopped you from discussing it before."

"Good Idea!" Emmett crowed, not seeming to pick up on the insult in Jasper's words. He was far too eager to go and try out a little bondage. Without another word, Emmett was sprinting out of the room, yelling for Rosalie as he ran around the house in excitement.

"I think I'm going to0." Jasper said quietly, "Thank you for the suggestions. I'll look them up online or something, before giving them a try." Rising from his chair, Jasper nodded a bow towards Carlisle before leaving the room, and closing the door behind him.

Finally Carlisle was alone again, and stuck with a rather big problem. As if reading his mind, the door opened a crack and Esme's head poked through the gap.

"Are you alright?" she asked softly, slinking into the room, and closing the door behind her, "You were in here with the boys for a while, talk about anything interesting?" His prayers were definitely answered.


	2. Chapter 2 Bondage

**A/N: So here is chapter two, finally. Sorry it took a long time but we hope you will think it was worth the wait. We would like to thank all of the wonderful readers out there who reviewed and those who added us to favourites and alerts. We think you are great. You give us love and that makes us happy. It also makes our writing contain much more smut!**

**Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight or any of the characters although if they were for sale we would be first in line to buy Jasper (Green-Gremlin) and Carlisle (Taloolah) because we all need man candy!**

**Enjoy the smutty goodness and let us know what you think – Please (it makes us write more!).**

"Rosie, where are you?" Emmett rushes towards their bedroom in search of Rosalie. "There you are. You'll never guess what has just happened. I've just found out that Eddy can't satisfy Bella. I always said he was probably crap in bed. They don't even do it anywhere but the bedroom. I told him…"

"You did what? You better have not been talking about our sex life to anyone else!" Rosalie glared at him with annoyance.

"It wasn't like that babe, honestly. It's just that I was telling them how good we are together and how we are really good at fucking but they didn't believe me so I had to give them some details." Emmett grinned at Rosalie with a look of lust in his eyes. "Thinking about how amazing we are at fucking makes me so horny!"

"When you say 'Them' who exactly are you talking about? Please tell me that our whole family doesn't know all the details of our sex life, again! It was bad enough last time. I really didn't need them all to know about the tree!" Rose glares at Emmett again as he looks at her hungrily. "Don't even think about it!"

"Look I didn't say too much this time and besides it might end up with Bella being happier and that will only benefit the whole family surely!" Rosalie's glare softens as Emmett pulls her in close. "Besides, I have this idea that I thought we could try! I think you might like it! It involves the outdoors and some rope!"

"That is worrying. Please tell me you don't intend to lead me round the garden while I bark like a dog." The sigh that escapes Rosalie's lips signals to Emmett that maybe she's a little fed up with his suggestions. He can sense her annoyance increasing and knows that he has to do something so that it doesn't end up with her shouting at him again. Emmett hates being treated like a toddler so decides to take action. Emmett holds Rosalie tighter and starts to kiss her neck, his tongue tracing swirling patterns across her skin.

"No but I did think that you might like me to tie you up and give you pleasure like you've never felt before Babe!" A moan escapes Rosalie's lips and she shudders at his touch. "I have this idea that involves you and some multiple orgasms."

"That sounds interesting. Well maybe you do have some good ideas after all!" Rosalie pulls away from Emmett and heads for the door. "You get the rope and I'll meet you at the tree!"

Emmett swallows a chuckle as he taunts Rosalie. "Which tree would that be babe?"

"You know which tree you idiot. Now get the rope before I change my mind!"

Emmett runs to get a length of rope as Rosalie makes her way to the clearing in the middle of the woods, where nobody will disturb them. She stops and stares at the disaster area in front of her. She knew it was a bad idea to even try to have sex on the top branches of such a weak tree. Rosalie smiles as she remembers the sound the tree made when it finally gave way and plummeted to the floor. All that remains now is a large trunk lying on the ground with an array of broken branches scattered around it.

Emmet enters the clearing with a huge grin on his face. "Hey babe I made sure it is extra strong rope just in case. Are you sure this tree can take anymore abuse? It looks a bit pathetic now!" He sidles up to Rosalie and firmly puts his arms around her waste and turns her to face him. He leans in and kisses her passionately. The kiss deepens and Emmett's hands begin to roam her firm body.

Rosalie moans into his mouth as he palms her nipples. "Oh Em, that is so good! You know we really are good at the sex thing aren't we."

"Oh yeah Baby! We are definitely good at the sex thing." His obvious arousal is pressing against her thigh as he continues to kiss her passionately. "Now what do you say to loosing the clothes?" He reaches towards her top and starts to pull at the smooth fabric. He suddenly stops when Rose pulls away and glares at him. "Don't worry I won't tear them from your hot body! Once was enough for me to realise that you didn't like that!" His eyes clouded as he thought about how mental she had gone when he ripped her clothes from her body. He hadn't though he would be able to walk again after she beat him. He hadn't thought about her love of clothes and anyway how had he been supposed to know that it was a designer original, a 'one off'. He knew not to make that mistake again.

Rosalie stood back and carefully undressed. She gently removed each item and folded them carefully. Emmett leaned against a nearby tree and watched the show. He loved the fact that Rosalie undressed so slowly. It sent tingles shooting through his already hard cock. The anticipation of things to come was so good that he had to grip the tree to stop him from pouncing on her and possibly ruining something designer.

Finally Rosalie was naked and it took Emmett a millisecond to throw his own clothes on the floor and grab her by the hips. "I think we need to make sure that you don't escape now don't we? I wouldn't want to have to throw you over my knee and spank you!"

With his words ringing in her ears, Rosalie immediately turned and started to run towards the darkest part of the woods. Emmett quickly caught her and put her over his shoulder. He carried her back to the clearing and placed face down over the fallen trunk. "So that's the way you want to play it is it? Well it seems like you are a naughty girl now doesn't it!"

"I'm sorry!" pleads Rosalie, looking back at him. "Please don't punish me!" Emmett grinned a knowing grin and gently slapped Rose on the behind. He repeated until she started to squirm with pleasure. He knew she was enjoying it so he intensified his slaps. He used more force until Rosalie was almost screaming with pleasure.

"You like that don't you? You really are a naughty girl. Now I think I'd better tie you up now." Emmett turns her round and positions her on the tree trunk so that her arms and legs are spread in front of him. He ties the rope firmly around the tree and around Rosalie's wrists. He then repeats the same process to ensure that her legs are secure. All the while, Rosalie is watching with lust darkened eyes.

"You know I could just quite easily escape from this." Rosalie points out quietly. "I won't because of all the pleasure you're going to give me but just so you know!" Emmett reaches down and heads towards Rosalie's pussy. He leans towards her and starts to nibble at her greedily. Soon Rosalie is moaning and squirming in her restraints. Her moans make Emmett even more turned on and he moves to graze his teeth against her clit. "Fuck! That is so good Em. Don't ever stop."

Immediately Emmett stops. Rosalie groans and looks at him pleadingly. "I just remembered something. Maybe we should have like a safe word. I know we can't hurt each other but just in case you want the pleasure to stop." Emmett looks at Rosalie and starts thinking of some possible words. "I was thinking of maybe boobs or porn. They could work as safe words don't you think?"

"Firstly, are you a complete Moron? Boobs and porn are not good safe words. A safe word should be something not related to sex! Secondly, why did you stop? I was almost cumming and you just stopped. Finally, I think the safe word should be something like Prada or Versace. No I've got it the safe word is going to be Gucci!" with that Rosalie leaned her head against the tree and waited for Emmett to resume his assault on her senses.

Emmett reached down and thrust two fingers roughly into Rosalie. A small yelp escaped her lips as he forced them deep inside her. "Oh yeah Baby that's it you cry for me. You like that don't you?" He didn't give Rosalie the chance to answer as he reached down to kiss her. His mouth hungrily attacked her as he thrust harder into her. Rosalie began to moan and buck under him. Emmett took this as a sign of her enjoyment and continued.

Soon he needed to feel her pussy clamped tightly round his cock so he removed his fingers and got ready to enter her. Rosalie struggled as Emmett forced his way deep inside her. "Ooh that's it. You can't move and I am totally in charge of you. I bet you're enjoying this aren't you baby!" Emmett began to thrust harshly into Rosalie, his moans filling the air.

Rosalie lies silently under him, her mind remembering the promise of pleasure that he had made. She always enjoyed sex with Emmett but he was certainly getting more pleasure than she was this time. His moans and grunts were so loud and he seemed to like the fact that she couldn't move. He was thrusting wildly into her and it seemed that he had forgotten about her pleasure completely.

"Gucci!" the safe word Rosalie had chosen didn't seem to work as Emmett continued to thrust into her. In fact he was completely oblivious to the fact that Rosalie had spoken at all. He reached out and started to pull on her nipples. He twisted them until she could bear it no more.

"Gucci, Gucci, Gucci. For fuck sake Emmett. GUCCI!" The ferocity of her voice caught Emmett's attention. He stopped briefly.

"Hell yeah baby, that's right moan for me. Scream for me. You are so amazing and so is this!" He started thrusting again and added, "I am so close. You must be so close too cos this is intense!"

Rosalie lie underneath him and watched as his breathing tightened and he started to thrust into her with unseen force. His eyes were shut as he felt his balls tighten. His cock twitched violently inside Rosalie and he felt his cum surge up into her. He let out a long moan and collapsed on top of Rosalie. He waited until he regained the power of speech then smiled at Rosalie. "Rosie baby, that was amazing. I can't believe how good that was. We really are absolutely amazing at fucking."

Emmett stood up and began to untie Rosalie. As the ropes slackened, she dragged her arms and legs free and stood up. Emmett leaned in to kiss her and then stood back looking all excited. "I have so got to go and tell someone about how good this was!"

"Emmett! Don't even think about it. You are not to tell anyone about this ever. Is that understood?" Emmett nodded then kissed her again. Rosalie gave a sigh and glared at Emmett in frustration. "What's wrong baby? You enjoyed it too didn't you?" He answered is own question without giving Rosalie a chance to speak. "That's silly of course you did cos we are fucking amazing at fucking! I'll see you back at the house Babe. I've got things to do!" with a huge smile on his face, Emmett turned and headed towards the house.

Rosalie was angry now. He had promised untold pleasures for her but had ended up leaving her unsatisfied and annoyed. This was a first but Rosalie did not like the idea of it becoming a regular occurrence. She wondered if the girls would be able to help and headed back towards the house.

Her first taste of bondage had not been pleasurable and she was determined to seriously harm whoever had put that idea into his Emmett's head!


	3. Chapter 3 Toys

**Thanks to those of you who reviewed or added our little story to your favourites or alerts. We really do appreciate you.  
Rosalie wasn't impressed with Emmett's efforts so now it's time to see if Alice has more luck. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: We don't own Twilight, No really we don't *shaking heads looking sad***

**Green-Gremlin here! Sorry for the delay on this, my computer kept eating it.  
**

* * *

Jasper had sat on his computer for over an hour, looking at hundreds of different websites. Some just sold adult toys, whilst others went into detail on the use of them. The only thing he couldn't get up the nerve to do was to watch some porn to help show him how to use the items he was intending on purchasing. He didn't think he'd need it anyway.

Slipping out of the house, he quickly jumped onto his bike, glad that Alice was out for the day. If she even suspected he was off shopping, she would of tried everything in her power to tag along, and he would of let her. Zooming down the roads, he was travelling at a little over 120 mph, the wind whipping through his hair. It took very little time for him to arrive on the outskirts of Port Angeles. Slowing down a little as he passed through the town, he made his way towards the factory district, where he had discovered the type of store he was looking for was located.

Pulling up in front of a non-descript building, he paused, wondering if he was really prepared to do this. Glancing up and down the road, he noticed a few seedier looking individuals, and that was almost enough to make him chicken out. But just as he was about to start his bike again, the image of Alice's beautiful face filled his vision, and reminding him of the reason he was doing this.

Walking into the store with a new sense of purpose, he looked around and was a little disappointed by items which were close to where he was stood. He had admittedly expected porn tapes and erotic literature to be within this store, but still he had expected to see more intriguing items. Shaking his head a little, he tried to dislodge the thoughts of failure from his mind. He already knew that this shop stocked the items he was looking for, or so their website boasted.

Walking further into the store, he was relieved and a little sickened to see more exotic items lining the shelves and walls. Some items intrigued him, making his fast vampire mind run over their possible uses, whilst others made him want to run in the opposite direction and never even think about sex again. Humans really were rather twisted.

Perusing the aisles carefully, he made sure not to look too closely at too many items. Although he was rather taken by a Navy blue lingerie set hung under the role play section. That was until he realized that it came with handcuffs and dildo in the shape of a truncheon. But finally he came across the two little items he had seen online and knew he wanted to try tonight.

The Mantic Multipulse and a set of wireless nipple clamps. Although he wasn't completely certain of how to use the Multipulse, he had been sold when it boasted it was the ultimate couple's toy and had been mentioned in several of Alice's favourite magazines. Picking both items up, he made his way to the till and paid, thanking every deity in existence as the cashier placed both items in a very non-descript paper bag. The last thing he needed was to be stopped by the police and them to be able to see his purchases easily.

Leaving the store, he breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that the hardest part of his plan was over. Now all he had to do was get back to his wife, and begin experimenting with Carlisle's advice.

* * *

Alice had had a very interesting vision earlier in the day. Jasper had something planned for their afternoon, although she wasn't sure exactly what these plans were, she was certain they had the potential to be very enjoyable. The moment she heard him rush out, obviously on the search for his supplies for their afternoon, she decided that it was about time she started preparing for his return.

Happily, she danced into their en-suite. Taking a 40 minute shower, Alice ensured she used all of Jasper's favourite scents. She even dug out the Chamomile shampoo and conditioner set, which she had bought after he admitted to it being one of his favourite smells. She hadn't realized until later that Chamomile shampoos was for blonde hair.

Stepping out of the shower, she sensed she didn't have much more time before Jasper returned. Striding into their bedroom, with a renewed sense of urgency, she thought over her options for clothing for their time together. It would be very easy for her to keep the towel on, and Alice knew Jasper wouldn't complain about that, but she wanted to put at least a little effort into her appearance, after Jasper had gone to so much effort to plan something for her.

Rummaging in her closet for a few minutes, the perfect outfit suddenly hit her. More exactly, it fell off her underwear shelf whilst she was inspecting her shoes, landing on her head. She had purchased this exact lingerie set several weeks previous. Although she had always turned her nose up at Wonderbras and the type of women who tended to wear them, she still had to buy this set. She hadn't even looked at the label when she tried it on, and the moment she had seen what it did to her boobs, she knew that labels didn't matter.

Pulling the electric blue lace over her body, she grinned at her reflection in the full length mirror which she had insisted was put in her closet. It really did wonderful things; the girls were so happy that she almost gave up on sex in preference of staring at her breasts. But she was pulled out of her weird boob obsession before it got too advanced, by the sound of the familiar motorbike, driving up the drive and into the garage.

Dancing to their king size bed, she laid herself against the head rest, knowing that when he husband entered the room, he would have the perfect view of her. Listening carefully, Alice heard him turning off his bike, and exiting the garage.

"Alice?" he called softly and she could feel herself growing wet in anticipation. Although she still had no idea what he was planning, she was excited to find out.

"I'm in our bedroom" she sang back, giggling lightly, as his footsteps made light work of the staircase, bringing him closer and closer to her. Smiling seductively, the bedroom door flew open, revealing her slightly windswept husband, clutching a brown paper bag to his chest as he positively drooled over the image before his eyes.

Dropping the bag to the floor, Jasper quickly made it over to his wife, climbing onto the bed and kissing her deeply, with every ounce of passion he possessed. His nerves vanished the moment he had seen her. His plan was going to be brilliant; he just couldn't believe he had never thought about it before.

"Going to make you scream darling" he purred softly, adding a bit of his Texan drawl as he spoke. Alice adored it when he did that. Climbing off the bed, he picked the bag back up and moved over to her side. Leaning back down, he kissed along her jaw and then down her neck slowly, making sure to tease her, and make her writhe beneath him.

There was a spot just below Alice's clavicle, on the right hand side, which always made her moan a song which he would never tire of. Licking and nibbling at it, he teased her to the brink, before pulling away with a wicked grin. Reaching into the bag, he opened the Mantic Multipulse, hoping he could get it to work without much difficulty. Picking a medium sized bullet, he palmed in carefully, before reaching out and running his hands over her body again. As he reached her knickers, he slipped his hand inside them, running it over her wet core, before pushing the bullet against her clit.

"What?" she gasped, tilting her head a little as she felt the ice cold metal against her. Alice had never seen the need for toys in the bedroom before, but she was willing to try anything if it made their sex lives more fun. But she knew that Jasper had been no where near thinking about such things, meaning someone had planted the thought into his head. As she began to ponder this little revelation, he fiddled with the remote control, managing to switch it to the lowest setting.

Looking into his eyes as it vibrated weakly against her, she instantly recognized the intrigued little boy. He was doing all this to please her, whilst learning. Rolling her eyes mentally, she began to move under him, pretending that the little bullet was doing something more than tickling her.

As she moved, Jasper couldn't help staring at her breasts. They jiggled slightly with each movement, heaving beneath the electric blue fabric which was hiding them from his desperate gaze. Flicking the remote control, he turned the setting up to level three, hoping that the change in pace would effect the movement of her breasts.

With the sudden increase in vibrations, she began to feel something a bit more pleasurable, making her move naturally occasionally between her fake movements. All she needed now was for him to either fuck her or to increase the setting on the bullet by at least 15, if not more.

As her breasts heaved even more strongly with the increased please he was giving her, he found himself losing control. Removing his hand from her knickers, he didn't even notice where the stupid bullet fell. Grabbing a breast with each hand, he flicked his wrist, tearing the infernal material down the centre, before throwing it across the room.

"I liked that" Alice protested loudly as he ruined her favourite bra, pouting angrily up at him, "My boobs looked fucking brilliant in it!" But she didn't get to protest any more, as he pushed his lips against hers, kissing her wantonly, and his hands massaging her breasts. She just hoped that any other toys he had bought would be more satisfying than that bullet, because he was going to have to pull something brilliant out of that bag to stop her from killing him and whoever gave him his advice.

"You're perfect darling" he gasped, pulling away from her lips, and moving down her body quickly, his fingers curling into the sides of her knickers and pulling them from her body. "So perfect" he growled softly, nipping her neck lightly, before pulling back, and rummaging in the bag again.

Alice, kept her eyes locked on him, praying he would pull out either a vibrator or something equally as satisfying. But what he pulled out was oddly confusing. She thought she recognized the miniature vibrators hanging from the ends of the contraptions, but everything else was a mystery.

Jasper didn't even notice how confused Alice looked. He was too excited about testing out his final purchase. In all of his research, the nipple clamps had appealed to him the most. He couldn't wait to have her writhing beneath him, as he fucked her, playing with the nipple clamps.

Running his hands up her sides, a clamp in both hands, he circled her nipples slowly, before attaching them and sitting back with a grin. She looked spectacular. He couldn't believe he had never done this before.

She gasped at the sudden pain, radiating from her nipples. It was very obvious what the devises were now, and she knew that several people were going to die for this. Nothing he could do would make up for this.

Flicking the controls which had come with the nipple clamps, he didn't even consider the lower settings, switching them right to the highest before watching them make her breast vibrate erotically. He couldn't hold back any longer. Grabbing her hips strongly, he embedded himself deep in her, his eyes still locked on her beautiful breasts.

"God you're beautiful" he groaned, pounding into her and pulling at the clamps with each thrust. He couldn't believe what a turn on this could be, but he was harder than he'd ever been before, on the verge of cumming.

She had to give it to him, as the vibrations passed through her nipples, that is was rather pleasurable, but still she felt rather degraded. It wasn't that she would of disapproved of them in principle, but the fact that he hadn't even bothered asking her or checking they would be alright, made her feel dirty.

As he teetered on the edge, his mind supplied a little tip he had read whilst researching online. Removing both nipple clamps, he lathered each abused nipple with his ice cold tongue, before exploding inside her. Rocking a couple of times as his orgasm tore through him, he buried his head in her breasts. Coming down from the intense pleasure, he couldn't help but grin widely.

"That was amazing" he announced, looking up and beaming at his wife with excitement, "I never knew I could cum that hard". Kissing her lightly, he pulled out of her, and rolled onto his side. Downstairs he could hear Rosalie banging around, muttering something indeterminable. Grinning widely, he decided to go for a hunt and maybe search out his brothers to let them know how amazing his first foray with toys had been.

"I'm off hunting" he announced, jumping off the bed and grabbing his jeans and t-shirt, pulling them on without a second thought, "See you later beautiful. Be ready for round two"

Alice watched as her husband bounded out of the room, obviously over the moon with what he had just done. Rolling her eyes, Alice decided to relieve some of her tension on her own. Maybe that little egg was around still. She was yearning to know how powerful it could go. As she found it lying on the bed, she decided one thing. Who ever gave him that advice was going to die.

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**Please review, we will love you forever. Reviews equal love, and we all need love. Oh and I, the mighty Green-Gremlin am in charge of writing the next chapter, and I want to see some reviews before I'm even thinking about posting it.  
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	4. Chapter 4 a change of scene

**A/N: Big Sorry to everyone for the Delay on this one. Yes I know I said I had it already written, but I've been rather unwell recently (And still am), so had very little energy to type this chapter up. And add to that that I am very lazy, then you'll see why there has been such a shocking delay. But I've finally succeeded (As you can see).**

**Thanks to those of you who reviewed or added our little story to your favourites or alerts. We really do appreciate you. **

**Two down, one to go. Hopefully Prudeward….I mean Edward will do a better job of putting Carlisle's advice into action.**

**Disclaimer: We don't own Twilight, No really we don't *shaking heads looking sad* **

Walking slowly back towards the cottage, Edward pondered Carlisle's advice. Well not all his advice because some of those suggestions were just sick and demeaning. There were a couple of good points hidden within the more distasteful stuff and he was willing to give those ideas a try.

Growling deeply to himself, he tried to shake the embarrassment he had felt going to his father for help. He couldn't believe he had actually been so stupid as to leave the stupid study door ajar especially in a house full of vampires. He wasn't even sure if he was thankful his brothers had heard him instead of one of the ladies. On one hand, he shuddered at the thought of any lady hearing something of such a crude nature but on the other hand, he was certain his brothers would tease him mercilessly for the next decade of so.

Pausing as he reached the front door of the property, he took several deep breaths to calm himself. He really wished he didn't need to follow someone else's advice but Bella hadn't kept her boredom at their sexual activities a secret. Tonight he was going to try and give Bella what she wanted. He would do anything to keep her happy and the embarrassment he was currently feeling just happened to be the price for her happiness.

Pushing the door open, he stepped inside of the little cottage and smiled subconsciously at the homely atmosphere around him. A fire was flickering in the hearth, casting a warm orange glow over the 'over stuffed' furniture placed around it. No matter how often he entered this room, he couldn't help but feel that he was where he belonged once again. Looking around, he sniffed the air, trying to locate his wife and daughter. After a few seconds he discovered his daughter was no longer in the cottage, leaving him with the perfect time to try out Carlisle's advice.

Walking through the living room he made his way into the kitchen, seeing his beautiful wife looking absentmindedly out of the kitchen window. She didn't seem to have heard him enter so he made his way slowly over to her, hoping not to startle her, and wrapped his arms lovingly around her waist.

"I missed you my love" he whispered softly against her hair, "Will Renesmee be out all day?" Rubbing his nose against her jaw, he breathed in her scent. She was still as intoxicating to him as she had been as a human and he was determined to make her happy.

"She's at school." Bella sighed softly, leaning back into his chest. Turning in his arms, she gazed into his eyes worriedly. "I'm sorry about earlier," she whispered softly, "I didn't really mean it. I just wish sometimes that we weren't so predictable when it comes to making love. I hear Alice and Rose talking and just feel like I'm missing out on something. I didn't mean that I'm unhappy or anything."

Kissing her lightly, Edward felt a surge of confidence at her words. If she hadn't really meant it when she told him she was unsatisfied then he wouldn't have to worry so much about getting Carlisle's advice correct. He could just go with the flow, and see where it took them.

"I want to try something," he murmured lightly against her lips, allowing his cold breath to brush over her lips and intoxicate her senses, "But I'm not completely sure how well it will work."

Waiting for Bella to consent, he smiled widely at the small nod, before scooping her up in his arms and carrying her towards the bathroom. After Carlisle had suggested that he tried his first out of the bedroom experience in somewhere that would be easy to clean, his mind had been set on the small en-suite bathroom attached to their bedroom. At least this way he would be close to the bedroom if this plan didn't work.

"And why are we in the bathroom?" she asked softly, looking very confused as he placed her on the edge of the sink.

"Thought I'd try being a bit more adventurous," he told her, throwing her words from previously, back at her, "See what we've been missing." The moan which passed through her lips at this made him instantly hard. He hadn't expected this sort of reaction from her.

"You're wearing too much." she informed him in a sultry voice, snapping his mind back to reality, "We're both wearing too much." With that said, her fingers were all over him, pawing at his clothes and making quick work of removing them. Spurred on by her excitement, he began removing her blouse and skirt, trying to be careful not to rip them. It was becoming very hard though, as her eagerness continued to increase.

"Patience love" he growled, dropping his shirt and her blouse to the floor, before moving back to continue removing her clothes.

"Forget the skirt, just take me" she moaned after a few seconds, "Want you now". Stepping back slightly, Edward's eyes almost bulged out of his skull at the sheer wantonness of her words.

Sighing deeply, Bella hopped down from the sink, rolling her eyes as she quickly removed her clothes. She should have known not to push him too much. At least they were out of the bedroom for once.

"Better?" she asked softly, moving back to the edge of the sink and beckoning to him in a wanton fashion. After a couple of moments of thought, Edward stepped back to her, still unsure of what he had gotten himself into.

Kissing her firmly, he allowed his hands to begin to trace her sides, taking in every contour of her body as if she was some priceless artefact. Slowly, encouraged by Bella's moans, he got more adventurous. He allowed some of the horny teenage boy hidden behind his Victorian morals to escape. Running his hands down her legs, he pulled her to the edge of the sink, forcing her to wrap her legs around him. This action brought their arousals together and he let out an animalistic groan as his erection rubbed against where it most needed to be.

"Need you!" Bella moaned softly, tilting her hips in an effort to get what she needed, "Please!" She nipped her lower lip lightly. Edward smiled lovingly at her before lining himself up with her.

"How can I deny such a request?" he murmured before pushing carefully into her. No matter how many times they had made love before, he was still terrified of hurting her so insisted on taking the first few thrusts slowly. The moment he was certain she was all right, his pace picked up and the last of his Victorian morals slipped away, allowing the horny teenager to take over.

"Harder, More!" Bella was chanting as he pounded into her, his pace continuously getting faster and harder. His eyes were fixed on her breasts as they bounced with the force he was using. "Edward!" Bella wailed, her head thrown back in joy as she quickly approached her orgasm. Spurred on by the sound of his name spoken like that, he used every ounce of strength and speed he had, knowing he wouldn't last much longer.

Pushing deeply inside her there was an ominous cracking sound. Ignoring it all, he pulled out almost completely, before pushing in again with just as much force. The cracking was louder this time, distracting Bella from her approaching orgasm long enough for her to realize what was about to happen.

"Edward!" she began to warn, only for Edward to push back into her again, releasing the moment he was buried within her. This last thrust was all it took for the sink to give up and break beneath Bella, leaving her purely dependent on Edward and a couple of pipes for support.

"Wow!" Edward gasped, not realizing what had happened as he peppered her jaw with soft kisses. He smiled proudly at how well he thought their first encounter outside the bedroom had gone. "He was right," he murmured softly against her neck, "That was amazing." Moving to her lips, he kissed her passionately, not realizing the increasing difficulty it was taking for Bella to balance.

"EDDIE!" bellowed a loud voice from the living room causing Bella to groan. The last thing she needed was for Emmett to walk in on them like this. He would probably walk in just in time to see her lose her balance and end up sprawled on the floor.

"I'll get rid of him," Edward announced brightly, "Might go and play some ball".

"Ed…" was all Bella managed to get out before Edward pulled away from her, taking away the only bit of stability Bella had. As he bounced out of the bathroom, the inevitable happened. Scrambling for purchase, she pulled more and more of the sink away from the wall, turning some bits into dust before landing on her back in the bath.

Only one thought went through Bella's very unsatisfied mind as she lay there. Someone was going to pay for this!

**Reviews are love, and everyone needs love. Sorry again for the delay. Hopefully you won't have to wait so long again.**


	5. Chapter 5: The Truth Part 1

**A/N: I know I have taken ages to update and that is my fault (Taloolah) and not the Gremlin's but I have no excuse for you. I am simply a very bad girl who needs punishing! Anyway I hope you enjoy the chapter even though it is only short. The next chapter will be much quicker I promise.**

**Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight and if you think we do then you need the number of a good therapist!

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Rosalie had been sitting on the sofa for what seemed like hours, although it was actually only a few minutes. She didn't know where the others were apart from Jasper. She'd seen him looking pleased with himself as she made her way to the house. In fact he was so happy that he hadn't even noticed that Rosalie looked ready to kill. He simply smiled and carried on his way. Rosalie had thought it odd that he hadn't noticed her emotions but she was in no mood to ask him what had made him so happy.

She had walked into the lounge and sat on the couch, ready to rip Emmett's head off if he even dared to come near her. She could hear noise upstairs although she wasn't entirely sure who it was. Whoever it was sounded to be having a bit of solo fun. That just made Rosalie even angrier. Why hadn't she thought of that instead of getting annoyed and tense? She sat there waiting for someone to arrive. She really needed one of the girls to come so she could talk through what had gone wrong. Actually she just needed to vent her frustrations to anyone who would listen.

A short while later Rosalie heard footsteps lightly descending the stairs. As she turned, a flushed looking Alice appeared. "Oh so it was you up there and you were doing what I thought!" Rosalie couldn't help but glare at the satisfied look on Alice's face.

"Don't get me started! I was left with no choice!" moaned Alice.

"You and Jasper are always fully satisfied. Don't pretend you're not!" Rosalie was beginning to let her temper take over.

"It's not funny. He tried to use toys on me and when I was starting to enjoy it he put these horrible nipple clamps on me and then didn't even realise that I wasn't enjoying it! In fact he was so happy with himself that he went to tell the others I think. So a girl had to do what was necessary!" Alice walked over and sat on the couch next to Rosalie. "What's wrong with you anyway? You usually enjoy your sordid little games."

"Well I should have known that you'd have seen what he was going to do! You could have warned me you know!" Rosalie leaned her head on Alice's shoulder as she filled in the missing information. "Oh yeah it's usually great except he didn't even care whether or not I was enjoying it! He tied me up then pounded away at me like there was no tomorrow. He had the stupidest idea of a safe word and then when I used the safe word he completely ignored it. The stupid oaf then had the cheek to assume that I had enjoyed it. He promised me pleasure and all I got was frustration!" Alice listened as Rosalie relayed the details to her.

"Something is wrong but I can't work out what. Jasper is usually so tender and gentle when we make love."

"Yeah and Emmett usually wants to give me pleasure on top of pleasure."

Alice thought for a moment. "It seems to me that they've been getting advice from somewhere and I sure as hell would like to know where. Whoever they've been speaking to is not capable of giving good advice!"

"Well when I get my hands on them I will tear them limb from limb!" As she said this Rosalie tore a scatter cushion into bits and threw it on the floor.

"I've just had a thought…" said Alice, "What if Edward got advice too? I mean we can cope with that but Bella always seems to take things seriously. Bad sex may put her off for ever!" The two girls giggled at the thought of Bella telling Edward she never wants sex again. Rosalie began to calm down as she and Alice shared the full details of their disastrous couplings.

In the distance they could hear footsteps. Bella stalked her way up the path towards the house. Her beautiful pale skin looked even paler against her wet hair. Her clothes stuck to her damp skin and she looked angry. She ran through the open door of the house and saw Rosalie and Alice sitting on the couch. They seemed deep in conversation.

Bella sat down and sighed deeply!

"What's wrong?" asked Rosalie as she turned to face Bella.

Bella sighed then tried to explain her predicament to the others. "Well, you see, I've been a bit bored lately. You know, in the… bedroom." She hesitated to allow her sisters to take in what she had said. "Erm, so anyway I told Edward."

"I'm guessing that he wasn't all too pleased with that."

"No Rosalie he wasn't. He brooded over it for a while and I thought he would be okay but he kind of went a little odd. He's convinced that I'm going to leave him because we have boring sex. I told him I wouldn't ever leave but I don't think he believed me. Anyway he came home today with this idea of how to improve our sex life," Alice smiled at Bella and started to chuckle to herself. "So I guess you know what I'm going to tell you already Alice so I really don't need to put myself through the embarrassment of telling you do I?"

Alice let out a giggle before she replied to Bella.

"It's not that bad and anyway Rosalie doesn't know yet and as much as I would delight in telling her I think that it's up to you."

"Oh come on you have to tell me now Alice has said that!" Rosalie simpered as Bella took a deep and unnecessary breath.

"Well I had told him that I was bored so he came up with the idea of having sex somewhere other than the bedroom. Except you know what he's like when it comes to hygiene so Edward decided we should try it in the bathroom."

Rosalie squealed with delight. "Ooh I remember this the time that me and Emmett…"

"I don't need to know thanks Rosalie," interrupted Bella. "So we went into the bathroom and it was going quite well when suddenly Edward seemed to get a bit carried away and, well I ended up in the bath after the sink totally broke. The worst thing is that Edward didn't even realise. I was just about to… you know… climax when I felt it break so it kind of put me off. Anyway the short version is Edward was fully satisfied and left me about to plummet into the bath while he ran off hunting with Emmett."

Alice and Rosalie began to laugh, much to Bella's annoyance. Alice explained that when you thought about it, there was quite a lot to laugh about.

Rosalie filled Bella in on what had happened to her and Alice and the girls sat and chatted for a while longer.

"Someone has been giving them seriously crappy advice!" Bella was angry now. "Who could it have been?"

Alice tried to remember anything that she had seen earlier on but nothing came to mind. "Well we know it wasn't one of our men because they all got it so wrong. Which leaves Esme, Carlisle or Jacob?"

Bella and Rosalie thought for a moment. Rosalie was the first to speak. "Well Esme would not have given sex advice to the guys I'm sure and Carlisle may have but he would not have given crap advice surely. Which leaves Jacob but I know for sure that Edward would not take advice from that dog. It must have been someone else."

"There isn't anyone else," argued Bella. "It must have been Carlisle. Maybe they didn't listen to him properly or something."

"We could ask Esme, she'll be here in a couple of minutes." said Alice. A couple of minutes later Esme arrived home, and was greeted by her three daughters.

"Well this looks ominous" she giggled, sitting down across from the girls and gazing at them in a motherly fashion, "What happened and who did it?". Smiling weakly, the girls explained their predicament, relaying what had happened to them as their mother sat and listened.

"I remember seeing them slipping into Carlisle's office before I went shopping" Esme recalled softly, "But I'm sure he wouldn't of given them such bad advice as that." Looking down at her hands she thought of their words. "I think you need to talk with him before jumping to any conclusions" she finally declared, "It might just be that the boys didn't fully listen to what Carlisle suggested". Bella found it hard to believe that Edward hadn't listened properly but the evidence was there right in front of her.

"When should we go and talk to him?" Bella asked softly, having calmed down a little thanks to talking things through with Esme. The only one of the girls who seemed to still be on the verge of homicide was Rosalie, and that was only because she didn't like her sex life being bad.

"He's in the woods right now" Alice announced, "Alone, so now would be a good time". As one, the three slender and sleek, slightly annoyed, vampires ran towards the woods, desperate for their answers. They were followed by a very amused Esme who was just as keen as they were to find out exactly what advice her husband had been giving to their sons.

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A/N: Okay so I did warn you it was short but fear not for part two is coming soon.**


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